Why Continue To Hold On?

We often hold onto the very things we ask God to redeem us from. For many, it might be anger, rage, addiction, depression, or lust. For me, it is self-doubt. This may seem small to others, but it is a huge obstacle that has prevented me from allowing God to work in my life. So, why do I hold on?

I constantly question why I continue to carry this weight and fall into the same trap, expecting a different outcome. What am I afraid of? I dislike struggling with this, yet I am also afraid to combat it. I fear the unknown because, for as long as I can remember, I’ve struggled with finding the confidence to overcome self-doubt. I know I am intelligent and that my experiences might resonate with others, yet I still find ways to sabotage or withhold opportunities to express these things, as if they aren’t important enough.

Psalms 27 reminds us that “The Lord is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear?” This reminder that God is always with us should be enough. It doesn’t matter how long we have struggled with whatever burden we carry; He is with us, and as long as we allow His presence, we have nothing to fear. We must learn to fully submit and give our burdens to God because He cares enough to release us from them.

Psalms 100:3 encourages us with the knowledge that “He made us, and we are His.” We cannot overcome adversaries without God, no matter how much we try. Sure, we can avoid discussing it, stop going to triggering places, or suppress issues just enough to forget their weight. But only through our faith in God can we truly overcome them, while also helping others to do the same through the Holy Spirit.

I’m not saying this will be an easy, quick fix, because I’m sure it won’t be. But I pray that you, along with myself, can finally say “enough is enough.” I am tired of struggling and beating myself up over the same thing. I pray we can lay it at the Lord’s feet and trust that we are freed.

Dear God, today I come to you bringing the weight of [specific struggle]. Father, I have tried all I could to overcome it, but all my attempts have failed. I know and trust that you can deliver me from this and help me to see myself the way you see me. Oh God, please order my steps, help me to be obedient in the areas where you call me, and allow me to be a reflection of you in every room I walk into. I want people to see that there is hope and that you still perform miracles today. I know that sometimes we have to let go for you to help us grow into who we are called to be. Oh God, help me to distinguish your voice and prioritize spending time with you when I am happy as much as when I am down. I want to nurture our relationship and run to you before running to anyone else. And in Jesus’ name, I declare it is done.

Amen