Hey Guys,
Simply amazing how much we can grow in a short amount of time; it is often hard for me to even appreciate how far I’ve come as I’ve become accustomed to focusing on all the bad that’s happening. I was getting some work done on the computer the other day when a scenario replayed in my head; it was the first time I stayed grounded on a boundary. To some, this might not mean much, as for me, it was a huge accomplishment. Let us say I have been through some stuff.
I did not realize many of the damaging and toxic behaviors I had until I stepped into counseling. How closed-minded and unwilling to learn I was, I asked them how to make my relationship better with my children, they said to “be present.” I was offended; how dare they tell me I’m not present in my children’s lives when I am the one who cares for them. I was too hurt and trying to run from it. I was too blind to realize the remark wasn’t literal. Honestly, I couldn’t even comprehend what that statement meant. Acceptance is challenging because it requires us to put our egotistical behaviors away. No one likes to admit when they are wrong, probably because somewhere down the line, someone made a mockery.
I had to reach out to my other counselor(getting all the help I can) to thank them for instilling boundaries into my thoughts. I use to be so annoyed during our sessions when that would be all they said. I did not feel like I was getting anything out of it; I was frustrated! After one full year, I finally understand. I know I talk about boundaries a lot; repetition makes perfect. I also understand how challenging it can be to make a boundary, especially when you don’t have that self-love because I’ve been there, depression is real; it comes in all forms, always know you don’t have to do this alone. Don’t allow your thoughts to get ahead of you. You matter!
I know what it feels like to be alone.
Warm Regards
MG