By: Mikayla Montgomery
It’s been a while, and I can honestly say that things have been flowing. So much has happened in such a small duration of time. I published a book and founded a nonprofit; I know when I began this journey, I said that I would remain anonymous, but God had other plans. The distance that I have placed between me and everyone has been a tremendous help; I couldn’t wrap my mind around processing my cousin’s death because I was blaming myself.
The thing about tragedy is there is no right or wrong way to cope with it, and I feel guilty because I should have been more supportive, but my cup was so empty I was running of no fuel. I’m pretty nervous about bringing myself back around my family because the shadow of death is so heavy; I try to prepare myself for the right words to say and responses to questions, yet guilt has ultimate control over me now.
I like to think of myself as a helper, and now I feel so helpless to them. I cant provide comfort and reassure them that things will be ok because I am struggling. The tragedy was horrific enough; now, I was battling with processing that and overcoming my PTSD. It is hard!
I started the organization for people like me. Those who have been through a lot, yet no one understands. I was being called dramatic and having my emotions dismissed. Those I once confided in revealed their true colors. I was alone again. The organization focuses on reestablishing your importance. I have poured my entire heart out into all of the material for each of the programs. God did make me restart each time, getting better.
Throughout the last 60 days, I have networked with individuals I should have never met. Founders, CEOs, and other high-profile individuals its certainly been an experience. Although I’ve encountered a multitude of blessings, my mental health has still been struggling. Mental Health is a forever battle. Everyone battles with something; some are just more honest about it.
If you don’t do anything else for yourself today, remind yourself that you’re vital, meaningful, and worthy of living.