It is far more effortless for me to express myself when I’m in a dark mental place when it comes to writing. I’m not always there, though I’ve been doing well lately. I was listening to a sermon this morning about how easy it is to forget to involve God when things are up and more manageable. Today, I focused on everything I have to be thankful for my children, my home, and the ability to understand how God’s grace has been good to me. Stuck in amazement with how far I’ve come, those dark days seem to overshadow the reality of our lives, mainly because we tend to remember the emotion felt over the actual event.
A while back, I was big on finding what I call a happy place, a peaceful sanctuary. At the beginning of any journey, the end of the tunnel seems so far away, yet in a blink of a consistent eye, you will find yourself there. You will wake up one day, and the hurt is gone; the doubts start to fade as you have incorporated challenging the hostile critic through each attack. My greatest fear was being alone, but God turned that fear into something so incredible; finding comfort with being alone is the greatest weapon. Being in isolation, having no one to turn to, breaking down with no one to pick you up teaches you how powerful you are.
The most challenging lesson was learning to adapt to everything thrown my way without changing who I am to conform with who others wanted me to be. Starting a business was one of the most frightening tasks I’ve ever taken on, but when God calls you to do something, the questions come last, and you follow. I often ask myself how someone as dysfunctional as myself can help anyone until I step into a room. This road has been far from easy, but someone else said yes for every person who has said no. It is indeed the faith that pulls you through.
My favorite takeaway thus far is the ability to forgive; finally. I am not usually the one that handles judging anyone, and forgiveness is far easier than carrying the dead weight of something that has already happened. Healing is a continuous journey note I said I have been doing well LATELY; I would be dishonest if I told you the journey is coming to an end because it is not; lots of things still trigger me. Although they may never go away, the way I react has gotten better. Remember, no one knows how you internalized something. It is ok to feel how you feel; just don’t get stuck there.
Photo credits: JUSTMYCAM