Unhealed Wounds

Becoming a parent is one of the most exciting moments any individual can experience; the purity of love your child gives is unmatched. As an expecting parent, you unintentionally envision the perks and moments when things seem up, failing to prepare for what could go wrong. We live in a society where broken homes seem to be the standard foundation, not by choice but by the circumstances set forth. To my children, I’m sorry.

SKJ, parenting is a journey that never ends; as humans, we evolve each day, making it impossible to perfect the responsibility of raising a child. I’m not always understanding; I don’t always prepare the healthiest meals, and there are times when I need a break. I don’t care for the saying; it takes a village to raise a child. Does that make the parents who raise their children alone unfit or unequipped take on that responsibility?

I have always considered myself the black sheep of my family, I don’t fit in, yet I always seek validation from them, ironic, right? When it comes to raising my children, I have a standard philosophy, and I believe everyone understands it now; the boundaries I enforce for them will pay off later. I am not fond of separating my children from the ones they love and care about, and I understand their want for fullness, but I still acknowledge the adverse effects of toxicity. It hurts me as much as it hurts them; when we undergo troubling times, we gain perspective of what is acceptable and not.

Do you know what’s wild about family? Many believe the title alone gives a free pass from taking responsibility for the pain caused. So much generational hurt passed down, instead of addressing the trials, they feel it’s best to inflict pain onto others. We see and hear about it everywhere, often quoted with ” You don’t know what I’ve gone through” everyone goes through something troubling; it is not an excuse unless you make it one. The worst part of trauma is the aftermath; it hurts so bad we begin to feel bad for ourselves. It is in no way easy, and it takes time, but one day, you have to wake up and acknowledge what happened and how you internalized it before you find yourself stuck living the rest of your life in stage 2 of grief.

Parenting requires a lot of faith and judgment, which is why healing is so important. Your children will always reflect on you; they follow what they see, not what they hear. The fascination of having children will never be enough preparation for what history resurfaces. It is a hard pill to swallow, accepting that someone so important to you is the reason behind your hurt. It is vital to understand the limitations of their love had nothing to do with you; it was their choice to continue living with unhealed wounds.

Photo Creds: JUSTMYCAM