Forgiveness, why is it so hard? How is it easier to allow people the opportunity and instant gratification over our emotions? I’ve noticed our enemies are often the ones closest to us. We tend to move forward without even addressing those lingering words and actions that follow us daily—ultimately leading to trauma being passed from generation to generation.
I find myself in this conjunction of emotions often with those around me. Like it’s love, but fuck you (forgive my language), but that’s just my mood. This past year is when I finally learned about boundaries. When I first walked into counseling, we did the uniform script. Much was said; it was one comment that replayed in my head for the duration of the session. “Almost everyone around you has abused you.” That’s a tough pill to swallow, especially when you already knew it. I thought I had forgiven everyone until asked simple questions such as ” Why do you think that” “Why do you feel that way” For the first time, I realized I never forgave; instead, I suppressed those emotions so well, instead of allowing myself to forgive them, I’ve been carrying the dead weight of trauma along.
I read this book called Forgiving What You Can’t Forget By Lysa TerKeurs. I feel like it helped me more in my self-growth journey than counseling. Don’t get me wrong; counseling provides you that additional push with scientific evidence to back it. And although I still commit to it once a week, I’m not always trying to be fed positivity. It’s something about the raw details and conversations that are so motivating. It helps you to remain mindful when you face a hurdle in your journey, definitely a book I could read multiple times a year.
Have you forgiven those who have hurt you? Or are you still unintentionally holding onto it!
You deserve to be feed from your hurt forgive them for YOU!
Until next time
MG