It has taken me a few days to find the words to describe the “aha” moment God has recently given me. For over five years, I have been struggling to understand how to bring my initial vision to fruition. I have since learned that this would only happen in God’s perfect timing; no matter how hard I tried to force it, I kept encountering roadblocks. I wanted this nonprofit vision to make sense so badly, but the more I craved it, the further away it seemed. I eventually had to realize that this is for His glory, not my own.
On January 22nd, everything finally clicked. While I am not in a position to quit my job and jump into this full-time yet, I was reminded that this work is for His kingdom rather than my comfort. I recognize now that certain experiences had to happen to prepare me for this moment. When I lacked confidence, He placed me at Kidslink; when I lacked community, He gave me God-fearing friends; and when I lacked understanding, He placed people in my life who truly walk by faith. Without these elements, I would have missed the opportunity to see God’s love and favor.
I’ve had to remind myself that I am worthy of being the face behind “For You,” not because of anything I have done, but because of who God says I am. He called me to this and planted this seed because of my heart and my experiences. When God has His mind made up, there is no reason to question it. Although I still sometimes wonder “why me,” I am in awe that He sees me even when I feel small. Over these past five years, I have learned that the more obedient you become, the closer you feel to Him.
When “For You” was first formulated, I had just lost my cousin and was desperate to change my life. However, a few months later, I began letting outside influences control my actions, and the Lord became quiet for years. I tried repeatedly to complete a 21-day fast and failed every time. It wasn’t until a friend encouraged me to try again that I found success. This fast looked different than my previous attempts, but it was what I needed to hear His voice again.
I cannot say for certain that everything will perfectly align right now, but I finally have the clarity to take the next steps in what the Lord has called me to do. I am excited to see what this next year brings. I previously felt overwhelmed and unsure, but He has replaced those worries with peace and security—a powerful reminder that the Lord hears the cries of my heart.
Until next time,